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I dislocated my knee the other night. It’s the second time I’ve done it and like the first time there was no warning whatsoever. One moment I was standing, the next I was on the floor, kneecap buckling beneath me.

While it sucks, the stories I’ve told the kids at school to explain my little mishap have kept me quite entertained.

My current favourite is that there was this little old lady crossing the road and an out of control car came hurtling around the corner but before it could hit her I had pushed her out of the way, saving her life, but dislodging my kneecap in the process. Quite a lot of people believed this at first, but some wondered at the lack of asphalt residue.

Those who didn’t believe that story and pressed me for the real explanation were then told the I’d been running with the bulls, and that a bull had thrown me 10 metres in the air, causing me to land awkwardly.

Unfortunately they were also reluctant to believe that one either.

One student suggested that perhaps I’d been in a bar fight. “Yeah, you should see the other guy,” I replied. Har-har-har.

While those are all good stories, I think I need to have a couple more up my sleeve to stave off the inquisitive hordes. Any suggestions?

Shape Of Your Knees – Vancouver